Beg for Mercy A Cambions Series Book 1 eBook Shannon Dermott
Download As PDF : Beg for Mercy A Cambions Series Book 1 eBook Shannon Dermott
Beg for Mercy A Cambions Series Book 1 eBook Shannon Dermott
This book shouldn't exist, both literally and logically. It is easier for someone to put down a bad book, and look for another one then to leave a review, but I couldn't help it. I had to. There are huge mistakes that people should point out in this book, and since there are only two negative reviews, and both do not mention theses issues, I sadly have to point them out.Major spoilers for everything!!! You've been warned!
I only got to 25 percent of the book before I had no choice but to put it down. I usually finish a book no matter what, unless a major issue occurs and I can't handle it. I will start with the minor writing mistakes, before I move on to the major ones.
Minor problem: The character's are two dimensional-- Not even that. Most are there for plot, and it's obvious to the point that it made me roll my eyes. A incubus doctor who happens to be making the greatest lube to prevent them from sucking energy out while doing it, who just coincidentally happens to be dating her mom. And if she is curious about it, he cool about it and won't tell her mother. At that point I was already skipping pages at a time in the book, so I might have miss read that, but Seriously? I stopped soon after that and never continued. (Not for that reason, but for another I'll talk about later)
I have a question. Is this girl really a teenager? The answer is no. She is 35.
Not literally of course, figuratively. The author wrote a 35 year old into the body of a teenager. That bothered me a lot. It's bad writing. My reasons for this: The girl can cook. I mean, top chief worthy maternal, now if it was just that I wouldn't have said anything. I know kids can cook. But when you add her list of vocabulary words she spits out that is out of character, yes, I said it was out of character even though the girl said she does it and likes to do it, and it's a hobby / for tests, just like the cooking. Problem: Logically, (which i know from experience) A girl who is obsessed with using big words and likes knowledge, get this, likes to read. Only writers and readers do this thing, and you know what? I haven't seen her pick up a book the whole time I was reading. Nor did she seem like the 'geeky' type. So yes, it was out of character that the author added to try and make her different. Secondly, 'for tests'? Kids don't study for SAT not normal ones anyway. They goof off til last minute, not study words all their life. Nothing showed that she was geeky / study freak enough to say other wise, other then that odd quirk of hers.
Normally I wouldn't care for the food, or the words, if they were two separate weird hobbies she had on their own which is odd for a teenager to do, but together? No. Not only that, but she doesn't use a cellphone. A teenager that doesn't use a cellphone like a teenager would do. She uses it like an older person, never texting and opting to use the phone to call. No teenager uses their cell phone to call anyone. Average text a day? 250+ Average text Mercy used? 1. So yes, the MC is 35.
And don't get me stared on the 'news report.' I mean. That's terrible. No kid watches the news. They go on facebook, redit, and other social media to get their info. (No social media not used is also a red alert on her age. I know from experience that is where more then 90% of fights from school are started, and could have been used properly to make things interesting) If it's not on social media, or their friends don't tell them, they don't know about it. Even if she knew, she wouldn't be seriously afraid of it. I mean, she acted like an old lady, everyone she knew did, when it came to that. 'Oh no, did you hear about that girl! it could happen to you! (even though it was forever away) You better be careful!' Only my mom does that...And even then I don't listen to her, because the news is nothing but bad... well... news. The author obviously wanted to hint at something, and the fact that she probably will get involved with it. But it could've been done better then the cliche news report. Not only mentioning it once, but multiple times. The reader knows they are reading a book. They know if the author took the time to type those words down, any words about anything, it's all important and will be used later in the book for something. Foreshadowing doesn't have to be that obvious.
Also the cliche stopping the person before they say something important to the MC is, like I said, cliche, but it's alright if used once. Ever. Not ten times in a row. I knew what Fylnn or whatever his name is had to say, I could see that 'twist' from a mile away, but that's not the point. I had to just mention it because it was getting comical to a point when he couldn't speak to her do to the odd interruptions. And all just so she could be shocked during the dinner. Surprise! I wasn't shocked. I saw it coming.
Now, the last and major issue caused me to close the book: Math and basic logic: The fact that Succubus and Incubus should be extinct. The MC shouldn't even be alive in this book.
I'm not talking about her mother being poorly written as a terrible mother, which is out of character. The fact that she never told her daughter anything or tried to explain how to control her powers, leaving her daughter to feel alone and isolated, afraid to touch anyone, while she walked around and could do whatever she wanted. That is selfish and uncharacteristic of how the mother was portrayed. No, i'm not talking about that. I'm talking about this:
"My mother is dead. She die to give birth to me. It was a choice she made." Fylnn or whoever-his-name-is said. "A Succubus dies whenever she gives birth to another of their kind." (fullblood)
Mercy's mother didn't die because she is half human, but look at that sentence again and think for a second.
Succubus/Incubus can't repopulate and grow their population. Period. What does that mean? Well, lets say the population of every fullblooded Inu/Sub is 50. 25Inu 25Sub. every Succubus gave birth to a fullblooded Succubus, their population would still be 50 If 10 gave birth to boys instead. Well, the population would be 50, but now there is only 15 available females to reproduce. The odds of a male instead of female are 50 percent. in a few years the females would all die, leaving only males. So their species should be dead. Or the males would all be doing humans by that point. All Sub and Inu should not be fullblooded. Her mother, her convenient doctor boyfriend, or Flynn.
After that sentence, I put the book down.
There is of course a solution. Some animals on earth do die after birth: The Octopus.
The only way a animal can effectively 'die' after birth and not have this spiral death extinction is simple: The female dies after birth, but it doesn't matter, because she lays a billion eggs at once. If the Succubus gave birth to multiple children this would be okay, but they don't. (That I read anyway)
I saw the author made more books. I won't be reading them, but I do hope she has found this issue I just mentioned and fixed it in her later stories already. If she has, good, if not... well, my review is here with the solution. If Succubus do give brith to twins, triples, or even more, then either Flynn is the exception on being an only child, or Luke is his brother. (I'm stretching on that one) Or he has some other sibling out there, which might be the reason for the news about the death. But like I said, I only read 25% of the book. I don't know, and I'm just guessing.
It might seem like I'm angry, but I'm not in anyway. I just wanted to point this out so others could learn that problems like these happen, and when you are writing, you have to think of everything, because there are people out there who notice and will point them out.
I love to read, and I love to help others with their writing. Mistakes like these happen, and all you can do is learn from them and grow. Sadly, the mistakes in this book were too much, and I had to put it down. Other people like it though, and that is great. I'm happy for the author and the readers who get to enjoy them.
Well, on to the next book.
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Beg for Mercy A Cambions Series Book 1 eBook Shannon Dermott Reviews
We have 5 big players in this wondrous story.
Mercy. The story is told from her point of view. She’s naive young and all around average teenage or at least she thinks. I really liked Mercy, the author had a way of writing her where you felt like your back in High School. All the feelings and embarrassment from those years and the fun.
Paul Is Mercy best friend turned first love interest. I really liked Paul in the begging then he turned into an ass.
Luke, Who are you? Luke is okay. I felt he was hiding something and found out he was. I also believe he takes advantage of Mercy being her first boyfriend and all and knowing all the secrets. Shame on you Luke.
Flynn. I love Flynn. His an incubus who I think hides behind what he is hiding who he truly is. I really like him and he is one of my choices for Mercy.
Sebastian. He came into the story as a surprise. I really like him too. He’s another pick for Mercy.
Four guys all vying for Mercy who will she choose? I can not wait to find out.
Overall. This book is packed with lies and twists and turns and YA romance. Mercy is young and gets on my nerves but I am hoping she grows with the story. Paul and Luke could disappear and I would not care. I loved how the author portrays each character and how they are all so different from each other. Normally I have some guess on how the story would play out but this one is a complete mystery to me and I can not wait to dive into the next beg.
Great book to anyone’s collection.
The story was quite interesting. However, there were so many, many editing errors, it was very distracting. Words were misspelled and misused, such as to when it should be too. Also, there were a lot of places where it looked like the wording had been revised, but the replaced words were not deleted. Other times, small words like of, to, from, etc. were left out completely and possessives and plurals were incorrect. It is unfortunate, because the author is quite creative, but all the errors bothered me. She needs a better proofreader or editor.
This book shouldn't exist, both literally and logically. It is easier for someone to put down a bad book, and look for another one then to leave a review, but I couldn't help it. I had to. There are huge mistakes that people should point out in this book, and since there are only two negative reviews, and both do not mention theses issues, I sadly have to point them out.
Major spoilers for everything!!! You've been warned!
I only got to 25 percent of the book before I had no choice but to put it down. I usually finish a book no matter what, unless a major issue occurs and I can't handle it. I will start with the minor writing mistakes, before I move on to the major ones.
Minor problem The character's are two dimensional-- Not even that. Most are there for plot, and it's obvious to the point that it made me roll my eyes. A incubus doctor who happens to be making the greatest lube to prevent them from sucking energy out while doing it, who just coincidentally happens to be dating her mom. And if she is curious about it, he cool about it and won't tell her mother. At that point I was already skipping pages at a time in the book, so I might have miss read that, but Seriously? I stopped soon after that and never continued. (Not for that reason, but for another I'll talk about later)
I have a question. Is this girl really a teenager? The answer is no. She is 35.
Not literally of course, figuratively. The author wrote a 35 year old into the body of a teenager. That bothered me a lot. It's bad writing. My reasons for this The girl can cook. I mean, top chief worthy maternal, now if it was just that I wouldn't have said anything. I know kids can cook. But when you add her list of vocabulary words she spits out that is out of character, yes, I said it was out of character even though the girl said she does it and likes to do it, and it's a hobby / for tests, just like the cooking. Problem Logically, (which i know from experience) A girl who is obsessed with using big words and likes knowledge, get this, likes to read. Only writers and readers do this thing, and you know what? I haven't seen her pick up a book the whole time I was reading. Nor did she seem like the 'geeky' type. So yes, it was out of character that the author added to try and make her different. Secondly, 'for tests'? Kids don't study for SAT not normal ones anyway. They goof off til last minute, not study words all their life. Nothing showed that she was geeky / study freak enough to say other wise, other then that odd quirk of hers.
Normally I wouldn't care for the food, or the words, if they were two separate weird hobbies she had on their own which is odd for a teenager to do, but together? No. Not only that, but she doesn't use a cellphone. A teenager that doesn't use a cellphone like a teenager would do. She uses it like an older person, never texting and opting to use the phone to call. No teenager uses their cell phone to call anyone. Average text a day? 250+ Average text Mercy used? 1. So yes, the MC is 35.
And don't get me stared on the 'news report.' I mean. That's terrible. No kid watches the news. They go on facebook, redit, and other social media to get their info. (No social media not used is also a red alert on her age. I know from experience that is where more then 90% of fights from school are started, and could have been used properly to make things interesting) If it's not on social media, or their friends don't tell them, they don't know about it. Even if she knew, she wouldn't be seriously afraid of it. I mean, she acted like an old lady, everyone she knew did, when it came to that. 'Oh no, did you hear about that girl! it could happen to you! (even though it was forever away) You better be careful!' Only my mom does that...And even then I don't listen to her, because the news is nothing but bad... well... news. The author obviously wanted to hint at something, and the fact that she probably will get involved with it. But it could've been done better then the cliche news report. Not only mentioning it once, but multiple times. The reader knows they are reading a book. They know if the author took the time to type those words down, any words about anything, it's all important and will be used later in the book for something. Foreshadowing doesn't have to be that obvious.
Also the cliche stopping the person before they say something important to the MC is, like I said, cliche, but it's alright if used once. Ever. Not ten times in a row. I knew what Fylnn or whatever his name is had to say, I could see that 'twist' from a mile away, but that's not the point. I had to just mention it because it was getting comical to a point when he couldn't speak to her do to the odd interruptions. And all just so she could be shocked during the dinner. Surprise! I wasn't shocked. I saw it coming.
Now, the last and major issue caused me to close the book Math and basic logic The fact that Succubus and Incubus should be extinct. The MC shouldn't even be alive in this book.
I'm not talking about her mother being poorly written as a terrible mother, which is out of character. The fact that she never told her daughter anything or tried to explain how to control her powers, leaving her daughter to feel alone and isolated, afraid to touch anyone, while she walked around and could do whatever she wanted. That is selfish and uncharacteristic of how the mother was portrayed. No, i'm not talking about that. I'm talking about this
"My mother is dead. She die to give birth to me. It was a choice she made." Fylnn or whoever-his-name-is said. "A Succubus dies whenever she gives birth to another of their kind." (fullblood)
Mercy's mother didn't die because she is half human, but look at that sentence again and think for a second.
Succubus/Incubus can't repopulate and grow their population. Period. What does that mean? Well, lets say the population of every fullblooded Inu/Sub is 50. 25Inu 25Sub. every Succubus gave birth to a fullblooded Succubus, their population would still be 50 If 10 gave birth to boys instead. Well, the population would be 50, but now there is only 15 available females to reproduce. The odds of a male instead of female are 50 percent. in a few years the females would all die, leaving only males. So their species should be dead. Or the males would all be doing humans by that point. All Sub and Inu should not be fullblooded. Her mother, her convenient doctor boyfriend, or Flynn.
After that sentence, I put the book down.
There is of course a solution. Some animals on earth do die after birth The Octopus.
The only way a animal can effectively 'die' after birth and not have this spiral death extinction is simple The female dies after birth, but it doesn't matter, because she lays a billion eggs at once. If the Succubus gave birth to multiple children this would be okay, but they don't. (That I read anyway)
I saw the author made more books. I won't be reading them, but I do hope she has found this issue I just mentioned and fixed it in her later stories already. If she has, good, if not... well, my review is here with the solution. If Succubus do give brith to twins, triples, or even more, then either Flynn is the exception on being an only child, or Luke is his brother. (I'm stretching on that one) Or he has some other sibling out there, which might be the reason for the news about the death. But like I said, I only read 25% of the book. I don't know, and I'm just guessing.
It might seem like I'm angry, but I'm not in anyway. I just wanted to point this out so others could learn that problems like these happen, and when you are writing, you have to think of everything, because there are people out there who notice and will point them out.
I love to read, and I love to help others with their writing. Mistakes like these happen, and all you can do is learn from them and grow. Sadly, the mistakes in this book were too much, and I had to put it down. Other people like it though, and that is great. I'm happy for the author and the readers who get to enjoy them.
Well, on to the next book.
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